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The
phone
rang; I
looked
at the
Caller
ID and
answered
it. Mom
was on
the
other
end. She
had a
bad day,
while
trying
to cut
the
grass
that
morning
the
lawnmower
had quit
and
wouldn‘t
start.
She said
that she
“tried
and
tried
and
pulled
the rope
until
she
almost
killed
herself”
then she
gave up
and went
in the
house. I started to look inside myself and ask why I was uncomfortable with her wanting to move. I realized I feel as though moving to an apartment is her last stage in life and it brings the realization she isn’t going to be around forever. I mean, I know she has to die sometime, but talking about this move just made it more of a reality. Along with that comes knowing my home will be gone, the family “nest” will no longer be there. Mom’s house is the place I was born and raised. Our holidays are spent there with the family. Mom and her home seems to be the glue that holds us together. Mom’s a Christian, so I know she will go to heaven to be with Jesus, and she has lots of people up there waiting for her; my Dad being one of them. (That’s another story for later...)
The
reason I
was
bothered
by this
move has
more to
do with
selfish
reasons
than
anything
else. I
realized
it was
hard for
me to
think
about,
because
I’m
single
and
don’t
have
children.
My two
sisters
have
families,
so when
our
parents
are both
gone,
and that
family
has
ended so
to
speak,
they
will
still
have
their
families.
Does
this
make
sense? I
think
there is
a fear
of being
alone
and of
growing
older
myself.
Mom was
always
the one
I went
to for
comfort
and
strength
when I
was
little;
she
always
took
care of
things,
now it’s
my turn
to take
care of
her.
That is
a hard
role to
reverse.
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So, here
I was
with all
of this
inside
of me. I
prayed
and God
gave me
peace,
comfort
and
acceptance.
One day,
we went
apartment
hunting.
We saw
three
different
places,
they
were
very
nice. I
was
being
positive
and
encouraging,
pointing
out all
the
benefits
of
living
in each
one.
When we
got in
the car
to
leave,
Mom said
she
didn’t
think
she’d
like
living
in an
apartment.
It
reminded
her of a
nursing
home.
She
hasn’t
lived in
an
apartment
for 50
years
and then
she
didn’t
live in
one for
very
long. We
agreed
she
would
allow us
kids to
do the
lawn
work. I
told her
she
shouldn’t
have to
do
anything
at her
house
anymore,
to just
call one
of us,
or let
us set
up a
schedule
to help.
Since
then, my
nephew
has been
cutting
the
grass
for her.
I go
over
Saturday
mornings
to help
clean
out the
closets,
basement
and the
attic.
There
are
times in
our
lives
when we
think
like my
Mom did,
that we
are
ready to
go to
the next
season,
but God
knows
different.
God had
to show
Mom that
she is
not at
that
place in
her
life.
Mom
belongs
right
where
she is,
but she
needs to
learn to
accept
and
receive
help
from
others.
I know
that is
hard for
her, she
was
always
the one
to give,
the one
to do
without
and put
the rest
of the
family
first.
July 19,
2001
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Sitting
in the
living
room
chair,
she
started
thinking
about
why she
lives
there.
She came
to the
conclusion
to sell
her
house
and move
to an
apartment.
Several
of her
friends
on her
bowling
league
live in
apartments
and they
seem to
like it.
She said
the
house is
just too
much for
her and
thinks
moving
is the
right
thing to
do. She
had it
all
planned
out, she
would
keep
some
money
for
herself
and give
the rest
to us
kids; so
she
would be
alive to
see us
enjoy
our inheritance.
gh
the
fire,
you
shall
not be
burned.
Nor
shall
the
flame
scorch
you.”
Isaiah
43:1-2